This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
