So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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