She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
