You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
