I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
