We're facebook friends in real life
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
