True but thats because hes a fetus.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize