Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
