Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
