How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
