I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
