Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
