don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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