I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
