I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
