I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
