I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
