I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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