She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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