I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough