Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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