I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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