I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My feet surprised me
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