all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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