I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
