its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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