So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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