she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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