You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
