Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
