Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
