She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
