OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm at about main and main street
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
