Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize