whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize