Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
