if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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