weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
