this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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