okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
