I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
