using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
