i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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