You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
