batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
