Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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