It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
