Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize