Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
