they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
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You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
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So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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