When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
