I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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