So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
