You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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