he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
