i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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