In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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