Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
