Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
