You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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