I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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