My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
