so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
