my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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