so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
