There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
