hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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