Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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