I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize