Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
