My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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