3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
