Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize