areolas are like halos for boobs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
