maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
